💘 Why Do Some People Catch Feelings Faster Than Others?

Do you have that one friend who seems to fall in love after just a few dates? Or maybe you’re that friend..the one who feels sparks right away while everyone else seems to move so slooooow.

According to relationship science, these differences aren’t necessarily random. How fast we “catch feelings” often comes down to our personality and attachment style, the emotional patterns that shape how we connect with others.

🧠 The Research: Who Started New Relationships (Even During a Pandemic)?

In 2020–2021, psychologists William J. Chopik and colleagues at Michigan State University studied 2,285 college students over a seven-month period to see who started new romantic relationships during the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Even with campus closures and distancing guidelines, about 20% of students reported starting a new relationship. Using the Big Five personality traits and measures of attachment orientation, the researchers identified which qualities made someone more or less likely to fall into love — or at least into a new situationship — under stress.

Here’s what they found:

• Extraverts — the outgoing, social, talk-to-anyone types — were 26% more likely to start a new relationship. Their need for connection (and their knack for bending social-distance rules) likely created more opportunities to meet someone new.

• Anxiously attached people — those who crave closeness and reassurance — were 10% more likely to form a new relationship. In uncertain times, they reached out quickly to secure emotional safety.

• Avoidantly attached people — uncomfortable with relying on others — were 15% less likely to pursue new relationships, consistent with their tendency to keep emotional distance.

• Conscientious individuals — organized, careful, rule-followers — were 17% less likely to start something new. Their cautiousness made them more likely to follow public-health rules and to be deliberate about dating decisions.

  
  

Interestingly, traits like agreeableness, neuroticism, and openness didn’t predict new relationships. It wasn’t about being nice or creative — it was about social energy and emotional style.

💬 What This Means for You

These patterns suggest that the speed of love isn’t just chance, but rather part of your broader personality “system.”

• If you’re a fast faller, you might be someone who moves toward connection easily, seeking warmth and reassurance.

• If you’re a slow mover, you might be more comfortable taking your time, protecting your independence, or evaluating risk carefully before opening up.

  
  

💡 Key takeaway: There’s no “right” pace in love, just awareness. When you understand why you fall fast (or slow), you can approach dating with more confidence and compassion (both for yourself and for others).

❤️ Real-World Reflection

Think about your last crush: Did you fall fast, or did it take time?

What helped you feel safe enough to open up? Or what made you hold back? Your “love pace” can teach you how you handle vulnerability, risk, and trust. That knowledge is powerful for starting new relationships that can feel both exciting and secure.

🔍 Want to Explore Your Own Love Style?

In the study, researchers used two well-validated tools you can try for yourself:

1. Big Five Personality Test → Take the Personality Test

2. Experiences in Close Relationships Scale (ECR-S) → Attachment Style Questionnaire

Your results can help you understand where you fall on the Extraversion–Introversion and Anxious–Avoidant spectrums that shape how we experience closeness.

😬 If you are feeling really brave, share your attachment or personality traits below!

🧭 Final Thoughts

Catching feelings quickly doesn’t make you naïve. It makes you human.

Taking things slowly doesn’t make you detached. It makes you thoughtful.

Both paths are valid; both can lead to real connection when approached with awareness. 💞

Learn More

Reference: Chopik, W. J., Moors, A. C., Litman, D. J., et al. (2023). Individual difference predictors of starting a new romantic relationship during the COVID-19 pandemic. Personality and Individual Differences, 201, 111919. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2022.111919