🤷🏻Are Long-Distance Relationships Actually Harder in College?📱

Long-distance relationships tend to have a reputation.

People assume they are more stressful. Less stable. More likely to fall apart. Especially in college, where everything already feels new and overwhelming.

But are long-distance relationships actually worse for students?

A recent campus-representative study suggests the answer is more complicated than most people might think.

How Common Are Long-Distance Relationships in College?

In a 2023 study published in the Journal of American College Health, researchers analyzed data from over 2,000 romantically involved undergraduate students who participated in the 2020 College Sexual Health Survey.

The survey used a probability sample, meaning students were randomly selected from a large university’s undergraduate population. This is important because much of the older research on long-distance relationships relied on convenience samples, often decades ago.

Here is what they found:

• 34.2% of romantically involved students were in long-distance relationships.

That means about one in three college students in relationships were navigating physical distance from their partner.

Long-distance relationships were:

• More common among first-year students

• More common among students in longer-duration relationships

• More likely among Hispanic, Asian, and multiracial students

• Slightly less common among older students

  
  

In other words, long-distance relationships are not rare exceptions. They are a common structure for college romance.

Do Long-Distance Couples Struggle More?

This is where the findings get interesting.

The researchers compared students in long-distance relationships (LDRs) to students in geographically close relationships (GCRs). They measured:

• Relationship happiness

• Frequency of conflict

• Commitment (likelihood of still being together in six months)

And they found no significant differences between the two groups.

Students in long-distance relationships reported similar levels of happiness, similar levels of conflict, and similar levels of commitment compared to students who lived near their partners.

That challenges a common assumption that distance automatically weakens a relationship.

Why Might Long-Distance Relationships Work?

College students today live in a very different communication landscape than students decades ago.

Texting, FaceTime, social media, voice notes, shared streaming, and constant digital contact may help reduce the ambiguity and emotional distance that earlier research associated with long-distance relationships.

The study authors note that prior research often emphasized jealousy, loneliness, and distress in LDRs. But this newer data suggests that many students are maintaining emotionally satisfying relationships despite physical separation.

That does not mean long-distance is easy. It means distance alone is not determinative.

Why First-Year Students?

One of the strongest patterns in the study was that long-distance relationships were most common among first-year students. This makes sense developmentally.

Many first-year students begin college already in relationships that started in high school. They are simultaneously:

• Adjusting to a new academic environment

• Building new friendships

• Navigating independence

• Maintaining a physically distant romantic relationship

That combination can be both stabilizing and challenging. On one hand you have a trusted friend and significant other to help you navigate all the changes, but on the other hand, they are not there to go out and build new community and experiences with you. It can be tricky to navigate, but the good news is that it looks like many students are doing it successfully!

The Nuance: What This Study Does Not Say

It is important not to overinterpret the findings.

The data are cross-sectional, meaning they capture one moment in time. The researchers could not determine long-term stability. They also did not measure:

• How far apart partners lived

• How often they visited

• How they used communication technology

• Whether problems were being avoided rather than resolved

• If they stayed together long term

In fact, previous research suggests that couples in LDRs sometimes avoid addressing conflict because in-person interaction is limited.

So while this study shows that LDRs are not inherently lower quality, it does not mean that distance removes relational work.

What This Means for You

If you are in a long-distance relationship, this research offers reassurance.

Distance does not automatically predict lower happiness or commitment. Your relationship is not “behind” simply because you do not see each other daily.

At the same time, distance changes how connection is maintained.

Consider:

• Are you using communication technology intentionally or just constantly?

• Are there issues you are postponing because visits feel precious?

• How do you maintain autonomy while staying emotionally connected?

If you are not in a long-distance relationship, it may still be worth reflecting on how physical proximity shapes your assumptions about closeness.

The Bigger Picture

College is often a period of instability, exploration, and transition. For some students, long-distance relationships are an adaptive structure that allows them to pursue educational and personal goals while maintaining emotional bonds.

This study suggests that the success of a relationship depends less on geography and more on its dynamics.

Distance changes logistics. It does not automatically determine quality.

Reflection

If you are currently in a long-distance relationship:

• What makes it feel secure?

• What makes it difficult?

• What habits help you stay connected?

If you are not:

• Would you consider one?

• What would you need to feel stable in that structure?

Long-distance relationships are not automatically better or worse. They are simply different.

And understanding how they function in the college context helps us move away from myths and toward more realistic expectations.

Research Article: Beckmeyer JJ, Herbenick D, Eastman-Mueller H. Long-distance romantic relationships among college students: Prevalence, correlates, and dynamics in a campus probability survey. J Am Coll Health. 2023 Nov;71(8):2314-2318. doi: 10.1080/07448481.2021.1978464. Epub 2021 Sep 30. PMID: 34591746.